I am not sure if that’s it but that’s the word that seems to fit. It fits to describe my mind, my heart and everything else when I am with you.
Color is what a world of black and white needs sometimes. An area of gray to bring in some light. You are the best kind of gray to break up my black and white plain soul.
Not in terms of most things people declare as passionate but passion within the mind. I dive deep into your thoughts only to find a pathway that lead to mine.
Its a burst that flows through me and you are the source. Its a shock to every part of my body and each time I long to be charged up again and ready
Although it increases with time, starts war with neighbors and can create misery between two lovers it can also make things better. It can offer refuge to those who seek a way out. It can offer opportunity to the lonely wanderer and it can also ignite a flame so high between two strangers making them crave one another. Distance can be the rise or fall of people. I fear that as lonely wanderers we may feel the Rath of distance but I also hope that as two passionate people distance helps us keep our flame alive.
While it is the strongest of words it is the most common of words used. It is said with no meaning or said with evil intent. So although I cannot say if we have reached the state of true, meaningful, good love all I can say is,that we have planted the seeds. And I can only hope that these seeds bloom into petals of color that withstand storms, frigid snow and the suns fiery rays
I am what I am and that is good enough for me
I do not define myself through you but instead I seek a descripton of my from within
My boundaries and limits do not rest on how far you want to push them but in fact mark my successes and my future goals
Defining a moment where i am happy does not begin nor end with you but it is a moment where I can clearly see the difference between reality and fantasy
Your name is not embedded in mine therefore you are not a part of me and thus you do not and cannot be a part of my definition of me
I am what I am and that is good enough…It is good enough to define me
If you asked me what’s in a name I would not answer you straight, could not answer you straight for my mind twists and turns just thinking of your name.
The words you speak are like a song, something melodic that I replay to put my words into perfect harmony
With those eyes you see something in me that I have never seen in my self but like a book you read me from front to back with each chapter uncovering a new me, a true me
Your hands while they cannot mold my stained thoughts into a beautiful mosaic they still with your every stroke paint a brighter picture of me
So what is in a name if I choose to answer there will be one for what is in your name is simple yet ever lasting like a movie with scenes so memorable from one to the next
What is in you name needs no long introduction just three syllables…perfection.
Sometimes I sit and ponder so I guess its no wonder that I am just another number
Another number in your book which only give a second look when you are lonely
When you are lonely and on your own needing a place to call home for the night
The night that drags on waiting for the sun to make its presence but still letting dreamers dream
Dream of one day knowing what love is, what love isn’t and what it can be
Be that as it may I thought I was a dreamer who had found love but like water it drained
Drained from every corner and silent no sound because once love was lost it couldn’t be found
Found in such a mess of emotion but if love conquers all why do you spare no devotion
Devotion for my time, my tears, my heart and my fears for what I fear the most is losing you
You, the love I had once found
If I gave you an opportunity to walk in would you seize a chance to walk out
If I gave you the key that unlocked my heart would you toss it away the moment you got it
If we met at a crossroads of you and I would you walk by and leave a me
If the sun didn’t shine because the coulds got heavy would you make them heavier and make it rain
I have no words to tell you what I feel…speechless…wreckless…useless…is what you render me with every word you whisper in my ear
Hold on because my volcanic heart is about to erupt and when the lava starts flowing it burns.
It burns like the earth’s core…no cooling it down…no water…just heat. Heat you’ve brought to my life
So if I said yes would you find a reason to answer no
So my first blog was about my struggle to find a job…but…that was a half truth. By day I am an instructional therapist but by night i am a confused 22 year old and a part time cashier at a grocery store.
Now i like working with children and i like what i do…sort of but there is no stability in my day job. I work as an independent contractor with no benefits and no tax deductions which means more work for me.
It started out great. I got the hours but…like i said no stability. No client=no work=no money. So whats the problem?
I dont feel like this is what i am meant to do. I am a communicator and i love to be crative by drafting up witty sayings or slogans. I want to get into advertising. Well more so research. Yet as a grad i have no way to break into the advertising world.
Then there are the parentals. I love em to death but they seem to think that this day job of mine is like some god given gift. Like lets get real…i want money so i can enjoy life and do fun stuff with friends. And i need to pay off osap too…its a student loan.
So what do I do? Do i stick it out in world full of screaming kids or do i say enough is enough!! And search for what i really want to do. My passion sort of i guess.
So i think this whole blog thing is on over load with me. But….here goes. This blog is about my passion… Writing.
I noticed sometime in high school that with a pen, paper and some quiet time i am truely at peace. I write to release my thoughts. I write to relieve stress but i also write because i am good at it.
But i can never seem to finish what i have started and i always feel like my work is inadequate. And when i do think what i have written is good in reality its crap.
So…how do you teach yourself to finish what you started? How do you bild characters people want to read about?
A struggling young writer